Men Still Dominate Financial Decisions — 3 Reasons to Share the Power

The Hidden Divide in Household Financial Decision-Making

It’s easy to believe that most modern households are equitable between men and women — especially when it comes to personal finances. After all, women are a major part of the workforce, leading and innovating in meaningful ways. There’s a reason the “girlboss” aesthetic lingers on. However, some outdated norms still persist, particularly when it comes to how financial decisions are made within the home.

A recent study conducted by HAWXTECH and New York Life revealed a troubling trend: when asked about who makes financial decisions in their homes, more women identified as shared decision-makers, while men were significantly more likely to claim full control over household finances. This imbalance can lead to serious consequences, both financially and emotionally.

Why Leaving Financial Control to One Person Is Risky

Leaving one person solely in charge of the money can be a recipe for disaster. If that person dies or the relationship ends in divorce, the partner who has given up their financial power could be left in a vulnerable position. Beyond losing their spouse’s income, they may also have abdicated their own responsibility to learn and practice basic money management.

Survey responses showed that only 7.98% of women chose the highest level of agreement with the statement “I regularly read financial news or financial publications,” compared to 11.82% of men. More concerning was that 26.35% of women ranked their response as the lowest, compared to 13.83% of men. These statistics highlight a gap in financial literacy and engagement between genders.

Victoria Kirilloff, a family financial mediator and founder of Divorce Analytics, has seen many people end up in bad situations because they handed over too much financial power to their partner. She emphasizes the importance of both partners understanding their total marital assets and how much their lifestyle costs. In traditional marriages, the non-financially savvy spouse is often the woman, leaving her vulnerable if something unexpected happens.

How Equitable Financial Decision-Making Strengthens Relationships

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, a licensed clinical professional counselor, has worked with couples to help them avoid divorce. He notes that financial transparency can strengthen a relationship, while secrecy or imbalance can erode trust. When one partner is the sole financial decision-maker, it creates emotional and relational strain over time.

Even in loving marriages, this dynamic can lead to resentment and disempowerment. When a spouse is left out of financial conversations and only gains visibility during a crisis, the emotional toll can be profound. It can even set the stage for a full relationship breakdown.

Interestingly, women who aren’t leading or co-leading finances are not immune from money worries. In the same survey, women and men responded similarly to the statement “Thinking about my future sometimes keeps me up at night.” Given women’s slightly higher levels of stress, it makes sense for their own emotional health — and the strength of their marriages — to be included in financial decision-making.

Building a Joint Effort Is Easier Than You Think

Leaving a communication gap on such a critical topic can erode both joy and trust, while also creating a sense of burden and obligation in the partner managing the money alone.

Brian Page, an accredited financial counselor, has seen this firsthand in his work with couples. He notes that being the money manager is associated with higher levels of perceived couple financial stress. It’s not easy being the only one holding the purse strings. While it might look like one partner has the power, being the sole decision-maker can actually be an exhausting burden.

Equitable partners use their combined financial resources and talents to construct a life together. They set goals together, build a budget as a team, and hold regular money dates to keep each other informed.

The Broader Implications of Financial Inequality

The study conducted by HAWXTECH and New York Life surveyed 1,009 Americans aged 18 and older from across the country. The survey included questions on employment status, race or ethnicity, sources of income, investible assets, and financial confidence, among others. Participants had to meet certain criteria to qualify for the survey, including being involved in household financial decision-making and having an annual household income above $50K.

The findings underscore the need for a shift toward more inclusive and transparent financial practices in households. By fostering open communication and shared responsibility, couples can build stronger, more resilient relationships.